after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
