$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
