he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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