think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
