this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
