Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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