So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
