All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
