I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
