I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
