I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
