The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
