Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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