I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
