I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
