How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
