2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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