So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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