we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
