I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
