i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
