Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
