I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
