well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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