I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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