my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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