hotel room ftw
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
