He is such a slut. More and more my type.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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