Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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