well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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