Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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