Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
