We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
