Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
