I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
