he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
