No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
