i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
