WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
