that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
