Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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