i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
