So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
