I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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