So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
