my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
