When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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