You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
