So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
