I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
