think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
