fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
