My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
BRING THE BAGELS
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
