dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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