Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
